#youtube #poetry This Secret Place

My second attempt at YouTube poetry. I badly need a microphone and its on my Christmas list, but in the meantime subtitles will have to help.

Anyway, I tried something new with this, the first half of the poem i did on the fly as I recorded rather than writing it down. It was an interesting if slightly scary experience.

Codependency : That “Treading On Eggshells” Feeling

An interesting article on how codependancy works in relationships:

Free From Codependency with Dr Nicholas Jenner

Walking-on-egg-shellsAs I have mentioned here a few times before, I suffered badly with codependent issues. Even though I have largely overcome these, there are still some clear traces that I constantly work on (or have to work on).  One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of physical threat but mostly to do with observing a partner’s behavior for signs of change. For codependents who constantly live with insecurity, these signs could mean a lot.

Many clients who have noticed this element in themselves take any perceived change as a possible signal that they are about to be abandoned. In reality, there is usually nothing to be worried about or there is an issue that is not much to do with the relationship. What it does to a codependent is foster an attitude of “treading on eggshells”.  They feel that the…

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Open awareness – the mindful silt trap of the mind

Some good thoughts on the natural capacity for mindfulness we have:

I have been staying at Clowance Estate in Cornwall, where there has been a mansion house since 1380. Some of the original features are still there like a silt trap.

This silt trap is a small pond into which a stream runs via a control gate and a control exit. The control gate is used to determine how strong a flow of water from the stream comes into the pond. Most of the particles coming into the pond, soil, sand and silt, settle in the silt trap.

That means much cleaner water flows out of the pond – in this case to stew ponds where fish for the kitchen table were reared. In the photo below you can see the stream, the control gate and the silt trap pond.

image

Seeing this in operation gave me an analogy for the way our minds can work. Attention is like a control gate…

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There’s f**k all wrong with her

Nobody, NOBODY should be put through this…

You've gotta have Gumption....

I’m sat here broken and sobbing.

I just had one of the most humiliating experiences a person can have, and the worst part?

It won’t be the last time.

It’s a sunny Tuesday afternoon. I’ve just had my hair done for the first time in a year; my boyfriend arrives tomorrow and we are off on holiday with the family at the weekend. I’m smiling, and excited as I park my van near my daughters school, ready to collect my children. In the playground Mums and Nans tell me how great it is to see me, and how good I’m looking after a week or so off the radar, poorly. It’s quite lovely, and their kindness and words mean the world to me, when I have been feeling so low.

I collect my youngest two, and meander back to the car, noticing a traffic cone on the pavement blocking my…

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